I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
they're like a gay fantastic four
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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