i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
