Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize