i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
