Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
