Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
