I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
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