Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
