girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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