I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
