he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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