Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
