That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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