she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
