Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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