Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
