Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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