areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
