Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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