I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
