i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
