hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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