wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
