we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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