She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
