i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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