those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Duck Duck Cougar?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
