OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
