so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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