So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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