I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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