cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize