dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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