talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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