No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
