Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
