HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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