A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Found the puke drawer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize