Kiss
Puke
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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