I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
