So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
