this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
