my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
this hospital has no fireball
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
