i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
