when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize