that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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