yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You're like the curious george of whores
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
