What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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