Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
