ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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