First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
me + whiskey = a bad person
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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