hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
