): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can I color on your dick again?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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