I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
