We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
