YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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