It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
