i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
