I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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