Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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